- Enoch Oyedibu
- Sex, Young Couples
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If they are having trouble getting to orgasm or if anything makes them uncomfortable, they tell each other.
Couples who have a satisfying sex life tend to understand that sex is more than just intercourse. Studies show that they usually get intimate with each other at least once a week. Establishing a regular schedule isn’t a guarantee for instant bliss, but it can be a sign that both partners are in a healthy place.
Getting educated about each other’s physical erotic zones, how much stimulation they need, and what turns both of them on can take their sex life to new heights. Knowledge can equal sexual bliss.
Physical contact is a powerful tool that builds connection and trust. Sex therapists use a technique called sensate focus, which explores how different kinds of touch make you feel. It also eases the pressure of reaching a sexual “goal” like orgasm or penetration. Practising sensual touch can help partners get closer and make intimacy more pleasurable.
Couples who are not honest about what they do and don’t enjoy in the bedroom are more likely to feel dissatisfied. Therefore, confiding in each other about their likes and dislikes is important. If they are having trouble getting to orgasm or if anything makes them uncomfortable, they tell each other.
Sessions with a certified sex therapist can improve intimacy issues by helping couples having troubled sexual health communicate better, guiding them through touch exercises, and educating them about arousal and desire.
Sex is normal. What one like, how often one want it, and how important it is to one another is different for everyone. A partner’s libido and priorities can change over time with age, physical health, and the pressures of daily life. Couples who stay curious and flexible about their sex needs tend to feel better about themselves, which in turn paves the way for a more fulfilling sex life.
As one age, our bodies take longer to respond to sexual stimulation. Lower testosterone levels in older men can make it harder to get and keep an erection. A drop in estrogen during menopause can lead to a dry vagina and slower arousal in women. Therefore, try to set aside ample time to enjoy sex with each other.
Trying out different positions, moves, touches, and stimulations can bring back the spice if one’s sex life is stuck in a rut. The new techniques may also heighten sensations so that one can climax more often.
Research shows that couples who care about satisfying their partner and who take joy from the other person’s pleasure are happier in the bedroom. This might mean having sex more often than they used to, doing it at different times than is normal for them or acting out their partner’s sexual fantasies.
Practice makes perfect. When one do things that increase the feel-good endorphins in our body — from sex, exercise, laughing, making art, or any activity that brings us joy — we will build and beef up the response pathway that help us feel aroused more easily.
Some people might view using lubrication to ease dryness or propping their position with a pillow during sex as an admission that they need help to turn their partners on. But the opposite is true. The more attentive they are to the comfort of their partners and themselves, the better their experiences.
Researchers at the University of Toronto found that couples who believe that hard work and effort, not finding a soulmate, is the key to a great sex life enjoy a happier intimate relationship.
Photographic or literary erotica can heat the bedroom for some couples. However, a heavy pornography habit can stunt some men’s ability to get an erection and achieve orgasm with their partner. Porn also sets unrealistic expectations of what real-life sex is like, which can chip away at their partner’s self-esteem and hurt the relationship.
Climaxing isn’t the goal of every sexual encounter. For some partners, it can create a lot of pressure. Touching in sensual ways or connecting in whatever form works for them and their partners is enough to build closeness.
Above all, understanding where one’s partner’s sexual “starting point” is can go a long way toward fulfilling sex. Some people, usually men, can get in the mood instantly and without stimulation. Others, often women, need a cue to get aroused. Accommodating those differences can boost one’s mutual satisfaction.
Read Also: Why Penis Sizes in Sex Excessive: See 6 Things You Need More than ‘Biggy Bro’
Enoch Oyedibu
I am a writer and investigative journalist who specialises in literary criticism and underrepresented narratives. Among other publications, I have been featured in Business Day Nigeria, TheICIR, Platform Times and Daily Nigerian. Right now, I work as a full-time staff writer for Unconventional Magazine.
